J/D Fic
This is my very very late entry to the 2006 Jack/Daniel ficathon. I apologize for not getting everything together sooner.

Title: World Leader Pretend
Written for: dirty_diana
Requirements: H/C, with the hurt on Jack
Restrictions: No schmoop.
Rating: PG
Summery: Jack deals with the changing parameters of his relationship with Daniel.

A/N: My laptop is currently fried, so I’d like to thank my father for letting me reform and post this from his computer. Of course, he has no idea what I’m using his computer for, (and hopefully it’ll stay that way) but I appreciate it anyway.

Afterwards, when he was out of the infirmary and finally home, Daniel lingered past his hints and crawled in the bed with him after he excused himself for the night.

It was... a little unsettling, actually.

Daniel had shared a bed with him before, of course, many more times than once. But in those cases, it was straight-up sex, the kind that started before you even hit the sheets, and ended with you passed-out blissful. And when you woke up, you were alone again.

When he woke up this time, Daniel was still next to him, breathing lightly. Jack sighed and turned towards him.

"You okay?" Daniel asked, eyes already open and gazing at him.

"“Fine," Jack muttered, trying not to return the gaze.

Daniel sat up a bit. "I could fix something for breakfast, if you’re ready."

"Jesus, Daniel." Jack flung an arm over his head. "I just told you I’m fine. I can get my own damn breakfast."

"I know," Daniel said evenly. "It was just an offer."

They sat in silence for a moment. "What are you still doing here?" Jack finally asked.

Daniel looked over at him. "I don't know," he said. "I didn't want to leave."

Jack sighed. "Breakfast would be fine, thank you. I'm pretty sure I have Corn Flakes or something on top of the fridge."

Daniel was gone then, and Jack was alone, as he wanted to be. Or at least he felt alone, in spite of the noises coming from the other room. He set himself back down onto his pillow, and tried to will himself to sleep before Daniel came back.

But the pain was coming back, and he couldn’t get comfortable, and besides, Daniel didn’t take very long anyway. He came back quickly, and merely set an uninviting bowl on the nightstand next to Jack’s head, before starting his own.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked eventually, in-between bites.

Jack opened his eyes. "No," he said, finally, honestly, still ignoring the bowl.

"Do you blame me?" he asked in a neutral voice.

"No," Jack said. "Of course not. How can I blame you? I would’ve done the same."

"He was only a boy," Daniel said, and stood up.

"He was going to kill me," Jack told him, as Daniel moved across the room.

"He wasn't evil. He wasn't a Goa'uld. He was just…"

"Brainwashed?"

"Impassioned." Daniel presented a small bottle to him: pain medication. "I’ll get you a glass of water. But you should really have something to eat, too." Jack grunted.

Daniel didn’t leave after breakfast, and he didn’t leave after Jack ignored him all afternoon, watching game after game on ESPN Classic. Daniel finally left for a little bit to pick up an order of Chinese food, but he was back soon enough.

"I would have done the same thing," Jack finally said, in the middle of an old football game he didn’t care anything about.

Daniel looked over at him. "Yeah. I know." Jack stared at the screen. "Is that what’s bothering you?" Daniel finally asked, a note of disbelief in his voice.

"You didn’t hesitate," Jack said. “There was a time when you would’ve. Not so long ago."

"No, not so long ago." if anything, Daniel sounded almost annoyed now. "Isn’t this what you wanted? Me to become a good soldier in the field, not a, a, liability that could’ve gotten you killed."

"Trust me, I’m not unhappy about that part."

"Why are you unhappy at all?" Oh yeah, he was definitely annoyed. "Like I said, this is what everyone wanted."

"It’s not what you wanted."

"I want you alive, Jack."

"You didn’t want to be a kil- to have to do things like that. I’m the Colonel; I’m supposed to be the one..."

"Don’t you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. This isn’t about that."

"I’m a member of SG-1 just as much as you are, Jack. We both know this is part of the job."

"It hasn’t always been, not for you,” Jack said. “You’ve changed. You’re not so-"

Daniel flipped the TV off. "What. Tell me Jack, after years of going to alien planets, of waging war against a horrific and evil alien enemy, you’re- what, afraid I’ve lost some of my innocence?"

"No," Jack said, and he finally turned away from the darkened television to look Daniel straight in the eye. "Not innocence- idealism."

Daniel thought for a moment. "The ideal solution," he said, "would’ve been nobody dying. You wanted me to… try for that? At the risk of your own life?"

"No," Jack said. “Yes. I don’t know. I want you to… want to. Does that make sense?"

"No," Daniel said. "Jack, if I had hesitated, and you had survived, we’d still be right here, having this same conversation, except you’d be arguing my side." Daniel looked at him searchingly. "I honestly don’t know why this is bothering you."

You’ve changed, Jack thought, looking at his face, at his short hair and determined blue gaze. "I..." he cleared his throat. "I just don’t think I’m used to this," he finally said. "Just, you know, being injured, and you-"

"Saving the day?" Daniel asked with the start of a smile, damn him.

"Yeah," Jack finally said. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the couch, knowing that Daniel would still be there, patiently waiting as soon as he opened them, and wondering what was going to happen when he woke up tomorrow morning. Wondering what he wanted. Wondering how much he could ask for, and what Daniel would ask in return.

"Jack?" Daniel asked, after another minute.

I can’t do this, he almost said. "Yeah," he repeated instead, and opened his eyes. "Yeah, that must be it." Daniel smiled, and Jack thumbed the TV back on. "You’re not going to leave if I tell you to, will you?" he asked Daniel, when the game was finally over, and he felt exhaustion start to settle in.

"You haven’t asked me to leave yet," Daniel said. "You could try it, if you wanted to."

"I could," Jack said, but he limped to the bathroom instead, and got ready for bed.

Daniel was still cleaning up in the living room when Jack finally went to bed, and tried to fall asleep quickly, and tried to convince himself he wasn’t waiting for anything.